Totally Accurate Battle Simulator (TABS)
Open Alpha  0.3.617 Review

TABS are a fun, tongue in cheek, fighting simulator that can cover the single warrior to company sized units using a humorous cartoon style physics engine.  The units run from the unarmed peasant to the M-16 armed militia, with many strange units like the Chicken Man, Trump, and Hillary thrown in for good measure.

However, this game does simulate incompetence, goldbricking, apathy, and confusion quite well, better than any other tactical game on the market and doing a very amusing job at that.  However, the units always fight to the death every time except when they chase each other in an endless circle. 

In this game, each unit has a point cost, then you buy your units, place your units, and then you fight it out.  So far, I am having a blast.  I rate this Alpha 7 out of ten.  Now for the tactical spoilers:








All units have a purpose; however, I have favorites mostly based on my biases.  I prefer to field a line of melee troops that is slightly wider than my computer opponent is, so that the line wraps around and flanks my enemy when my troops impact the enemy’s line.  If I have more points I generally I use the points to thicken my line. 

Therefore, I prefer to spend my points on cheap units for the bulk of my army such as farmers, and if that fails, barbarians.  Oh, and I love headbutters (yes that's one of the unit types) to rush ranged units.  Sometimes I place one or more ranks of peasants in front to soak ranged attacks, especially chickens...

On the flanks, generally I get 0-6 archers on each wing to finish off broken troops since they do not include cavalry in this game, just chariots, and I do not like chariots.  However, for the final battle, I use a line of spear throwers instead of archers; to slow down their "tank" so that my farmers can finish it off, though I do not get a reliable victory, I need to polish up my final level 20 battle tactics.

Gaming with a friend, we found a new tactic that works even better.  Archers in single file on the wings with nothing in front of them since their middle name is friendly fire, with peasants in the middle.

And since this is an alpha, a lot more changes are coming, and I am looking forward to it.

Bonus Feature for use in sandbox play:
10 chicken men vs. super peasant (chicken fountain)
10 cannon (packed close together) verses 300 peasants (cannon fodder)
Spear throwers (equal points) verses any of the big units (Thar she blows)

The James Bond Vodka Martini Shaken, Not Stirred Controversy.

In my experience most experts have said to get your martini stirred, not shaken.  Sure, sounds reasonable, but everyone is not the same and I sometimes disagree with the experts and to some extent common sense and good judgment.  So, it's testing time.  Going down to Buffalo Wild Wings, I conducted my taste test there. 

Both drinks look identical.  The shaken:  It was noticeably colder, which I like, and smoother because of the melted ice.  The stirred:  Was thicker and had a lot better flavor. 

I like cold and smooth over flavor.  Huh.  I guess that I'm a barbarian and am going to side with James Bond.  Bond had it right in my humble option.  So, always try things especially when it comes to taste, you may find out that you may disagree with the experts.